The Art of Political Gymnastics: PM Rabuka’s Cabinet Expansion Extravaganza

In a country where the economy is tight, services are stretched, and every cent counts, our dear leader has managed to do the impossible: increase government spending under the guise of efficiency. Fiji One News’ headline, "PM Rabuka responds to criticism over increased cabinet size and cost," barely scratches the surface of this masterful exercise in political gymnastics.

https://fijionenews.com.fj/pm-rabuka-responds-to-criticism-over-increased-cabinet-size-and-cost/

First, let’s address the elephant in the room—why exactly do we need such a bloated cabinet? Is it because Fiji is facing a governance crisis so dire that only an army of ministers can tackle it? Or is it because Rabuka, in his desperate bid to maintain power, needs to appease every ambitious politician with a cushy ministerial post? The answer is as clear as a Nadi sunset. The man is assembling his own league of political superheroes—The Coalition of Convenience—whose primary superpower is draining the nation’s coffers while delivering lengthy speeches on national unity.

Now, we must also admire Rabuka’s unwavering commitment to not dealing decisively with underperforming ministers. One might think that in a government swollen beyond reason, there would be some level of accountability. But no! Ministers who couldn’t manage a backyard barbecue are still sitting comfortably in high office, protected by a thick shield of political favoritism. It appears that performance reviews are merely decorative formalities, much like a prop in a magician’s act. And let’s not forget the bonus round—every time a minister makes a blunder, Rabuka delivers a poetic justification that sounds more like a bedtime story than an explanation.

But the real masterpiece in Rabuka’s political repertoire is his latest attempt at distraction—the Constitutional Review. Ah, the sheer brilliance! Why deal with real issues when you can send the public down a rabbit hole of endless debates over constitutional amendments? Ethno-nationalists, ever eager to be deceived by empty promises, are led to believe that this exercise is a step toward their long-awaited dream of political supremacy. Meanwhile, the true purpose of this maneuver is to keep the masses busy while the cabinet continues to grow unchecked and the real issues—like economic mismanagement and public service inefficiencies—remain unaddressed.

In the grand tradition of political illusionists, Rabuka has mastered the ancient art of making the public believe he is leading a strong and decisive government while actually doing little more than ensuring his grip on power. The man is less a statesman and more of a magician, conjuring distractions with one hand while the other quietly signs off on another round of ministerial paychecks.

So, as we watch Fiji’s political landscape transform into a never-ending circus of expansion, inefficiency, and deception, one thing is certain: PM Rabuka has turned governance into a theatrical performance where the audience never quite knows whether to laugh, cry, or simply applaud the sheer audacity of it all.